


You Want Soft, I'll Give You Soft

by Kalamos



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Dream Pack, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4622058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalamos/pseuds/Kalamos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Did you smoke weed?" Maura asks. Blue, who has just come home and is rummaging in the fridge for a yoghurt without fruit, stops for a moment but doesn't look up. <br/>"How much of the truth do you want?"<br/>"Does that mean yes?"<br/>"It means that if you think I smell like weed, you're right."<br/>"I thought so." Maura leans against the counter. "Do you want to elaborate?"<br/>"Nope." Blue nudges the fridge door shut with her hip, yoghurt in hand, and snatches a clear-looking spoon from the pile of dirty dishes before she leaves the kitchen.<br/>"Blue!" Maura calls out after her. <br/>Halfway up the stairs, Blue turns around. "I won't let someone who starts drinking before lunch on Sundays lecture me on drugs." </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Blue wants to be a normal teenager just once, or, Here Is the Dream Pack!Blue You Didn't Know You Wanted</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Want Soft, I'll Give You Soft

**Author's Note:**

> This is set before TRB. Thanks to ibuzoo for making me call Kavinsky "Yosif" in my head.

"Did you smoke weed?" Maura asks. Blue, who has just come home and is rummaging in the fridge for a yoghurt without fruit, stops for a moment but doesn't look up.

"How much of the truth do you want?"

"Does that mean yes?"

"It means that if you think I smell like weed, you're right."

"I thought so." Maura leans against the counter. "Do you want to elaborate?"

"Nope." Blue nudges the fridge door shut with her hip, yoghurt in hand, and snatches a clear-looking spoon from the pile of dirty dishes before she leaves the kitchen.

"Blue!" Maura calls out after her.

Halfway up the stairs, Blue turns around. "I won't let someone who starts drinking before lunch on Sundays lecture me on drugs." Then she stomps into her room, slamming the door.

 

**_(Almost) Two Weeks Earlier_ **

_Monday._

Blue Sargent had one rule:

_Don't get involved._

She broke it often. It was a bad habit and came with the cruelty of high school. Sometimes, she just couldn't look away.

It was entirely possible the boy with the pretty eyelashes had done something to justify being beaten up by five basketball players. It just wasn't _likely_. "Hey!" she shouted, coming nearer. "Would you _stop that_?"

They looked down on her. "What is a tiny thing like you going to do? You want to join little tranny here?"

She squinted and gave them what she hoped was an evil look. "Do you know who I am?" she asked. Now she had their attention; they looked at each other, confused. Eyelashes boy on the floor didn't move.

"Wait," one of them said. "You're that psychic girl."

She didn't bother to point out that she wasn't exactly psychic. "I'm going to jinx you if you don't stop."

They started laughing, but ceased to do so quickly when she climbed onto the nearest bench (being taller was always a good strategy) and loudly began chanting an Old Gaelic song Persephone had been annoying her with all weekend, her arms outstretched to the sides. A sudden gust of wind swept through her open hair and the feathers glued to her necklace.

"How long is she going to do that?" one of the boys asked, uneasily. Another one shrugged. "A teacher'll probably check on this soon," he said. "Let's just go." They gave Eyelashes boy a last kick, flipped Blue the finger and finally left.

She stopped chanting and hopped down from the bench. "Are you okay?" she asked. The boy squinted at her. "That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen,” he told her. "Well, I'm glad you liked it," she snapped. "Next time they try to kick your guts out, I'm just gonna let them."

"How is a song about _a herd of sheep by the river_ going to help me with that?" he asked sharply.

She stared at him, dumbstruck. "That was freaking Old Gaelic!"

"I'm freaking Irish! Are you going to help me up anytime soon?"

"You seem well enough to lecture me! I'm 5 feet short, how many options do you think I have to chase off a group of violent jocks?" she asked, but held out her hand anyway.

He grinned at that and let her help him up. He was about half a foot taller than her and his eyelashes, she noticed, were so pretty because he wore mascara and smudged eyeliner. "Thanks for helping me. I'm Swan," he introduced himself. "That doesn't sound very Irish to me," she replied.

" _Part_ Irish, okay? Are you always this defiant?"

"Only about three quarters of the time," she retorted, "The rest of the time, I'm even worse."

"So glad to meet you," he muttered. She offered, "I'm Blue.”

"I would've bet my ass that you're black."

Blue snorted, "That's a very white joke to make." "Come on," he said. "With a name like that, it's practically an invitation."

"I'm not sure if I like you,” she announced. "Doesn't matter," he said, "I gotta go anyway. See ya." And he just walked away like that and she was not sure what to make of this.

 _Don't get involved_ , she told herself. _What an ungrateful dork_.

 

_Wednesday._

That one girl who sat next to her in History class said _hi_ to her for the first time.

 

_Saturday._

The bird flew into the spokes of her front tire when she was riding home from her shift at Nino's. It happened too fast and she reacted too slowly, and suddenly, this tiny breathing animal erupted into a cloud of feathers and the sound of bones breaking.

The rest of the way, she walked her bike one-handedly, crying, and kept the ugly raven baby cupped in her other hand.

Maura didn't ask and Blue didn't tell - not right away. She buried the raven in the backyard, under the tree she loved so much, and hid in her room to make a tiny little gravestone from cardboard.

It wasn't about the bird. Maura didn't ask because she already knew. She hadn't told because it couldn't be changed. And Blue, she knew that - she knew that if anyone had said, "you will accidentally kill a bird this Saturday" (prophecies concerning Blue were oddly specific) she'd have been paying extra attention and the bird still would have died. It was the first time in what felt like an eternity that she had a fight with Maura.

"You don't trust me," Blue accused her. It was only half true but she was angry so she said it anyway.

"I do, honey, I do." Maura gave her a sorrowful look and picked a feather out of Blue's hair. "I was worried. I didn't want to ruin your day."

Blue snatched the feather from her mother's hand and closed her fist around it. "Well, it was going to be ruined anyway, right? I could have mentally prepared myself!"

"You would've walked around all day waiting for it to happen. Sometimes, you're better off not knowing." She tried to stroke Blue's cheek, but Blue slapped her hand away.

" _You_ knew!" she shouted. "You know all the time! And you live with it all the time and you - you just keep me out like that!"

She started to cry again, out of anger, but she ran from the room anyway because it made her look weak and she felt weak and she didn't want to, not even in front of Maura, not right now.

 

_Sunday._

On some days, Blue felt more hopeless than on others.

She was not generally a hopeless creature.

She was _content_ \- it wasn't about that. She had woken up this beautiful morning to the talking and laughing and bantering of her family downstairs, to the tree in front of her window swaying in the light breeze, and to knowing that, no matter what, she would be loved.

And yet, watching their magic unfolding around her and never really being a part of it - and at the same time knowing that she'd never be separate, either - it was bound to make one feel hopeless. Never wholly being oneself.

As she lay there, replaying the last evening and her fight with Maura in her head, she decided that, if she couldn't wholly be herself, maybe she could try wholly being someone else.

 

_Monday again._

She got up extra early and walked to school. She didn't want to look at her bike when there was still blood in its spokes.

 

_Tuesday._

On top of everything, it was raining. She arrived at school dripping wet, still angry at Orla, who had tried to lecture her this morning - "it's not our fault you can't accept yourself," and, "you know who'll you be spending the rest of your life with," because Blue hadn't talked to anyone except Persephone since the Raven Incident.

She changed into her gym top and spent almost fifteen minutes holding her soaked leggings under the dryer in the girl's washroom. They went from cold and dripping to warm and slightly wet, which she decided must be enough or she'd miss History.

As she slipped into her seat five minutes late, a folded slip of paper landed on her table.

_did ur bike break? i can drive u home after school if u want. skov_

Skov, that was the girl sitting next to her, the one who started saying hi just last week.

_y would u?_

If Blue had had a phone they'd have been caught and lectured, but apparently, slipping notes in class was so out of fashion that the teacher didn't notice.

_heard u know real nice songs about sheep and rivers_

Blue was confused until she remembered Eyelashes boy - Swan - from the week before. So he had told, and she didn't know if she should be mad or flattered.

_ok_

They met up after classes. When Blue arrived at the school's entrance, Skov was already leaning next to the door where she was sheltered from the rain. One hand holding the phone at her ear, the other one holding a cigarette. Both were technically forbidden on school grounds, and it would have taken Skov only the short walk over the school yard to avoid getting detention, but she seemed to enjoy the risk (and also, staying dry).

She waved her cigarette hand at Blue and continued her conversation on the phone. "Yes, all four of them. He's an asshole. - I fucking know, that's why I - You know what, fuck you. Come and pick us up. - Let Jiang take fucking Proko, Swan and that weird girl are coming with us, too." She slid her phone back into her pocket.

"That weird girl?" Blue asked, frowning. "Sorry," Skov grinned, "he doesn't know your name. Anyway, change of plans. My car - oh well, it's a long story. We're waiting for K and Swan." Blue nodded and settled against the wall next to Skov. "So he told you, huh," she said.

"Yup, he did. Funny story." Skov took a deep drag and flicked the ash from the tip of her cigarette. "He kept calling you 'that weird girl' and mentioned how you were so fucking short and I was like, do you mean Blue Sargent by any chance, and he was like yes, her name was Blue, I made a joke and she didn't find it funny."

"It wasn't funny," Blue defended herself. "I thought so," Skov said simply. “Swan is a cute little bastard but sometimes he lacks… awareness.”

They heard a car honk from the street the same moment a window opened somewhere above them and someone yelled, "No smoking on school grounds!"

Skov flicked the cigarette to the ground. "I'm not fucking smoking!" Turning to Blue, she added, "We better go," and together they ran through the rain to the white Mitsubishi waiting for them at the curb.

The driver, obviously the person called "K", didn't even acknowledge them as they flipped into the backseat. He wore the uniform of Aglionby Academy and hid his eyes behind white-rimmed sunglasses. "Thanks for the ride," Blue said.

K didn't react. He just let down the window and lit something that didn't look quite like a cigarette.

"Gimme," Skov held out her hand. K still didn't look at them, head turned towards the street in front of them, but lazily placed the joint between Skov's fingers.

As Swan opened the door on the passenger side, K finally showed a reaction. "If you let yourself get thrashed again stay the fuck away from my car." He started the engine.

"As if you're worried about your fucking seats," Swan retorted and lowered himself into the passenger seat. He barely managed to close the door before K floored the gas pedal and they sped down the road with screeching tires.

"You scared, doll?" K asked, grinning as Blue hurriedly fastened her seat belt. She felt him looking at her in the rear view mirror. "As if," she snorted, "and by the way, I don't like your tone." "Well, I don't like your face," K said, unconcerned, and took the joint from Skov. Blue didn't bother to reply and the three of them passed the joint in silence until Swan flipped it out of the window.

K dropped off Swan and Skov first. "Passenger seat, doll," he said when Swan had left the car.

"I'm fine," she insisted, figuring it was no use calling him out again.

"Passenger seat," he repeated impatiently, so she shrugged and climbed to the front, settling down next to K. Now, he looked at her, and a smirk played around his lips. "Where to?" he inquired.

"300 Fox Way."

"I didn't ask where you live. I asked where you want to go."

"Home," she said, squinting at him.

"Right." He emphasized that in a way that indicated he didn't believe her, but he steered the car down the right street anyway.

When they arrived, she said "thank you" as she got out, even though she was pretty sure it wouldn't mean anything to him.

"Anytime," he replied lazily and it sounded like he meant the exact opposite.

 

_Wednesday._

It was still raining. Skov's car was still broken. To Blue's surprise, Skov offered her to repeat yesterday's procedure. She said yes.

She felt looked at, but with K's sunglasses, it was impossible to determine whether he looked at the street or at her or just at her breasts. While she tried, she had a lot of time to study his face. He wasn't pretty, not in the Vogue model sense, but the cruel curve of his mouth had a sort of rough beauty that wasn’t altogether ruined by the pretentious faux hawk hairstyle he was sporting.

 

_ Thursday. _

Still raining. Skov didn't ask this time, she just looked at Blue questioningly and Blue shrugged and followed her to the Mitsubishi.

 

_Friday. _

"You'll have to make a decision today," Maura announced at breakfast, "and you should make it rationally, not emotionally."

Blue looked up from her bowl of cheerios. "It's a prophecy," Maura clarified. "You said you wanted to know, so I'm telling you." It was a peace offering.

"Thanks." Blue accepted. They continued to eat in silence, but Blue's heart felt a lot lighter than it had since last Saturday.

It didn't rain this time, so she started to walk home after school until a car stopped next to her and honked. "Don't honk at me, asshole!" she yelled before turning around and discovering it was Skov and her gang. "Stop bitching and get in the car," Skov called.

She hesitated. "Come on, doll," Swan added, and she leveled him with a look. "You won't call me that again," she said. "Or I'll jinx you. Remember?" She imitated flapping her arms and he laughed and gestured to the backseat, so she sighed and got in.

"What an unexpected pleasure," K smirked and added, "for you." "Shut up," she said.

He just grinned. "Make me."

It tugged at something in her, and she didn't reply.

"Shut up and drive, K." Skov boxed his shoulder.

Blue climbed into the passenger seat as usual when Swan and Skov had left the car. "There's a party at my place tonight,” K said casually as he stopped the car at 300 Fox Way. "You're invited."

It didn't sound like an invitation. It sounded like an order. "What if I don't want to?" she asked, stealing a side glance at him. He took off his sunglasses for the first time in her presence and looked at her seriously, "Then I'll have to remind you that I drove your ass home from this piece of shit school almost all week and you owe me."

"I thought you were being nice," she snapped. A savage grin spread over his face as he said, "Do I look like I'm being fucking nice?"

She pressed her lips together, got out of the car and slammed the door.

She'd clean her bike right this afternoon.

 

_Friday night_.

"Blue!" Orla yelled from the phone/cat/sewing room. "There's a boy on the phone for you!" Of course she had to spread that at her loudest voice while still getting to pretend she was doing Blue a favor. Blue shot her a dark look before taking the phone back into her room.

"It's you," she said (because the sentence worked whoever it was, yet most people didn't think it through that far).

"Of course it's me." It was K. "I heard about how you don't have a phone so I called your mom instead."

"It was my cousin," she informed him.

"In that case, bring her too,” he replied without missing a beat and named her an address.

"How do you know I'm going?" Blue asked and he said, "Because I asked nicely.”

Then he hung up.

Blue Sargent was a sensible creature. She made rational decisions. She should make a rational decision today, too, especially after what Maura had told her. _You'll never wholly belong_ , something inside her whispered. _Don't you want to pretend you could be someone else?_

She could find out what it meant to be normal and if maybe she liked it. She could find out what everyone else her age did on weekends and why they enjoyed it so much. It wasn't for lack of curiosity that she didn't know yet.

Two hours later, she showed up in the reading room in what she thought a party outfit looked like (black curly hair doused with glitter, a dress that was half upcycling, half crocheting project and patterned tights that must once have belonged to Orla) and announced to Maura, "I'm going out tonight."

Maura looked at her for a long moment before she asked, "Is this your rational decision?"

"Maybe I already made my rational decision when I decided not to yell at Orla for humiliating me."

"Maybe," Maura agreed, in a way that indicated she didn't agree at all, but all she said was, “Be careful.”

 

_Still Friday night._

"Look who's here!" Swan called out when he saw her. She moved through the crowd of too many rich looking people, in a house where a single doorknob probably cost more than Blue made in a year at Nino's. It smelled strongly like weed - not like in the car with the window open, more like in a cave that had been closed off from air. Swan made a sort of flapping gesture with his arms, which apparently was his idea of a greeting, and she was half embarrassed and half relieved to share an inside joke with someone at this party.

"You," she said, then stopped herself and reworded the sentence in her head, "Nice dress."

"You too." Swan boxed her shoulder lightly. "You want a drink? Looking for Skov? She's not here yet."

Blue didn't want a drink, but she also didn't want to be the only sober person, and after all, she had wanted to be normal, so she could as well go ahead and do it properly.

"Uuh. I usually don't drink. Make me something light?" Swan nodded and steered her towards the kitchen.

The music was more subdued here. Two Korean looking boys half leaned, half lay on the polished kitchen island, making out furiously, and a group of chubby girls in booty shorts had hung a dartboard on the fridge door and were playing darts while an all-American white boy tried to get beer from the fridge. It involved a lot of yelling and creative arrangements of curse words.

"You know what I like about you," Swan said as he poured a variety of liquids into two tall glasses, "is that you don't ask questions. Apart from 'how do you know that Gaelic song.'" Blue shrugged and accepted the glass he handed her, its content now a swirling mixture of pink and white.

"Most people say what they want to say anyway," she explained. "And if they don't, they probably have a good reason." She sipped at her drink. It was so impossibly sweet she couldn't believe there was alcohol in it.

"K likes you," Swan said. She nearly choked on her drink. He patted her back. "Don't tell him I said that."

She objected, "He thinks I'm a boring weird-ass brown girl with issues."

"Well. That's not mutually exclusive," Swan grinned.

"Hey!" She stood with her hands on her hips.

"Most people who get in that car try to impress him with saying all sorts of witty things," Swan explained, "or they get on his nerves and tell him to go slower or not fucking smoke in the car or whatever. And you managed to say nothing except hello and goodbye four days in a row."

Blue didn't think it was an achievement. "You didn't say anything either," she pointed out. He shrugged.

"We don't do much talking when we're stoned."

Before she could inquire further, they heard screaming from the main room - it sounded like a girl's voice, and then a much deeper voice yelled, "You fucking cunt! I will fucking kill you!"

The screaming came nearer, then Skov burst into the kitchen, an explosion of long dark braids and sequins. She wasn't actually screaming, Blue understood when she saw her face, but laughing maniacally. She shoved Swan out of the way, hastily opening the drawer he had been blocking, and took out the biggest knife she could find. Swan and Blue carefully backed off.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" she yelled at the boy who now appeared in the doorway and pointed the knife. The boy's answer consisted mostly of insults.

"Hey, fucker!" one of the booty shorts girls called out and threw a dart into his direction. It missed and stuck to the doorframe. "Keep your hands off Skov!"

"You fucking-"

He broke off because K had emerged next to him and hit the place above his left eyebrow with something that was shiny and silver.

"If I were you," K said, pointing the gun at the guy's head, "I'd be very careful right now. This is a house full of people with influence or money or the right kind of contacts, and none of them is on your side."

"The bitch set my fucking house on fire," the boy hissed.

"Good," K said calmly, "you deserved it." Then his fist connected violently with the guy's nose. Blue could hear it cracking even from the far corner she had backed into.

K kneed him between the legs for good measure, then called, "Jiang! Proko! Take care of him!" One of the Korean boys from the kitchen island moved towards him, another turned up from the main room, and together they carried the intruder (not being especially careful) to God knew where.

Blue breathed out and turned to Skov, who was still laughing. It wasn't the good kind, but at least she wasn't in danger any longer. Blue approached her carefully and took away the kitchen knife. "You're safe now," she told her as the put it back into the drawer. Skov nodded, breathed deeply and tried, unsuccessfully, not to grin.

"You burned his house?" K asked. Only the arch of his left eyebrow indicated that he might be impressed.

Skov snorted. "I may or may not have knocked over a bottle of vodka and sort of dropped a match..." After another fit of giggles, she added, "I was lighting my cigarette, okay! Accidents happen!"

"Accidents like slashing all four tires of your car when you broke up with him?" Swan inquired. Skov nodded and seemed to calm down.

K, a satisfied smile on his face, turned to Blue.

"Doll. Welcome to Wonderland." He leaned in so close she felt his breath on her neck and asked in a low voice, "What do you want? I have everything you can imagine, and a few things you can't."

She could smell his after shave and it made her feel dizzy. Her body, the miracle of muscles and moving she had trusted for so long, told her, _I want this_. Someone tall and strong and protective who smelled good.

He wasn't so unpretty without his sunglasses.

"I," she was suddenly breathless, "I don't take drugs."

"Are you sure? For all you know, Swan could have roofie'd your drink." She swirled around, but Swan held up his hands in a gesture of defeat and exclaimed, "I didn't! She said make it soft, I made it soft."

K laughed then and whispered to Blue, "You want soft, huh? I'll give you soft."

Maybe she and Swan had different ideas about what a light drink was, but her glass was half empty and she felt lightheaded and impossible. “Give me a moment,” she said and leaned against the counter.

She wasn't so sure anymore if she wanted to be here. If _normal_ meant drugs and guns and setting fires, maybe she didn't want to be normal after all. What was she doing at this house? She shouldn't even know people like K, because he was obviously the worst sort of person.

Well, the worst sort of person was probably the guy who had come after Skov. But still.

She took a few deep breaths, then looked around. "Come with me," K said, "I'll show you something."

Her heart was pounding. This was _so_ wrong. She knew better.

At the same time, she thought, _I want to be reckless just once._

So she let him take her hand and lead her up the stairs into a bedroom. It was huge and mostly empty except for a king size bed, a nightstand equipped with what looked like condom wrappers and a box of tissues and possibly a joint, and there was a cupboards' worth of clothing strewn across the floor. So different from her own bedroom.

"I don't do kissing," she said in case that was what he expected. He turned around.

"A problem with kissing? Is this an 'Imma keep my virginity' thing?"

"No. Just a no kissing thing."

"I can live with that." He stepped close to her, sliding his hands around her waist, drawing her close.

 _This is real_ , she told herself. If she couldn't kiss like a normal teenager, maybe she could lose her virginity like a normal teenager. Drunk, with a stranger at a party.

"Soft," she reminded him. She could feel his smile where his cheek touched hers. Maybe it was a smirk. She couldn't imagine him smiling. Carefully, she put her hands on his sides, moving them up his chest, around his shoulders, and down his arms until she held him by the wrists. Then she took a deep breath.

 _Do I want this?_ , she asked herself. _Will I regret this in the morning?_

She felt his gaze burning into hers and knew she wouldn't stop now.

"I'm here, doll."

"I know, K."

"Yosif," he corrected quietly. It sounded like something very intimate. She felt that tugging in her stomach again, like when he had said, _make me_.

"Be careful," she instructed as they moved towards the bed. "And use these." She nodded at the nightstand. Then, in one swift motion, she took off her dress and lay down on the bed.

The savage grin unfolded on his face. He unbuckled his belt and slid out of his jeans before taking off his shirt, and -

 

That was the moment it went wrong.

She stared, and he lay down next to her and she still couldn’t stop staring. So very softly, she held out her hands and touched the ladder of raised, angry looking scars that led from his hipbone up to his chest.

"Ignore them," he said in the same voice he'd used that first day in the car for, _Anytime_ \- as if he meant the opposite, but she couldn't disregard what he had said.

"What did..." she started.

He drew himself up. "Look, you're up here because you don't ask questions. So don't ask questions. Don't act like you care."

She sat up, too. "Maybe I do." She said it very silently.

"You don't know the first thing about meaningless sex, do you?" There was annoyance in his voice and she wondered whether meaningless sex meant you’d use another person without caring how broken they were.

"No," her voice got louder, "and maybe that's a good thing." _Don't get involved_ , she told herself. _He doesn't want you to._ But if she didn't, who would? One of the violent, drunken people downstairs?

"One question," she said, "and I'll leave you alone."

He kept on looking at her and she couldn’t decide if his gaze was helpless or just empty.

She stretched out her hand to trace the curve of his brow and whispered, "Do you have anyone who cares about you, Yosif?"

His flat palm hit her cheek before she knew what was happening.

"How dare you!" she yelled and leapt to her feet. Humiliation burned in her, deeper than the pain.

"Fuck off! Fuck off, Sargent!" He had scrambled away from her and looked at her wildly, with anger and shame written all over his face.

She was so furious that she didn't know what to say. "You're such a -"

The spiked sole of a boot he had thrown missed her by mere inches.

“GET OUT!” he screamed.

So she picked up her dress and stormed out of the room.

 

_Friday night, later._

"Did you smoke weed?" Maura asks.

Blue doesn't feel like lectures right now. She doesn't feel anything. She needs something to eat and then she wants to fall into the blissful oblivion of sleep.

"How much of the truth do you want?" she asks weakly and keeps on staring into the fridge so she won't start crying again.

"Does that mean yes?"

There's no denying she smells like an entire patch of weed, but she's pretty sure Maura wouldn't believe her if she said no. "It means that if you think I smell like weed, you're right."

"I thought so. Do you want to elaborate?"

What she actually means is, _You tell me what happened right this minute or hell will break lose_ , but of course it's Maura and Maura doesn't say such things.

Blue steels herself, hopes that Maura won't see that she's been crying (it _could_ be the weed, though), and does the take-yoghurt-close-fridge-grab-spoon motion, which has become very fast after years of running late for school, and practically runs out of the kitchen.

"Blue!" Maura's voice sounds angry now, so to discourage her from further interaction, Blue chooses the most flippant answer she can think of right now, which is, "I won't let someone who starts drinking before lunch on Sundays lecture me on drugs!"

In her room, she finally, finally can let herself fall down on the bed and her tears flow. Just this once, she's being a normal teenager, crying over boys.

Much later that night, she half-wakes after Maura closes her door softly and lays down next to her, looping one arm around Blue's waist and burying her nose in her hair.

"I’m sorry," Blue whispers. “I love you.”

"I love you too," Maura whispers back.

 

_Saturday._

Blue Sargent makes two new rules.

_One. Stay away from boys, because they're trouble._

_Two. Stay away from Raven boys, because they're bastards._


End file.
